HEE.
So WHY did i start this blog?
lets BACKTRACK for a sec here.
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| This was me at the eating disorders clinic |
For the past year or so I had struggled with an eating disorder which consumed my thoughts practically every living moment of my life,
I would basically starve myself in the morning and later on binge eat (eat an ENORMOUS amount of food in an extremely short amount of time) late at night.
There were times that i had tried to just get out of this dangerous cycle and start eating like A NORMAL HUMAN BEING again and many times i thought that i had succeeded but some how this "demon" just kept pulling me in, slowly consuming me till I was once at the point of hopelessness.
I had the mindset that there was No way out of this. I had to live with this for the rest of my life.
My friends and family had all tried to help but ended up getting hurt instead as I had somewhat "betrayed" them by relapsing into my disorder.
ANGER.
PAIN.
LONELINESS
That's all I ever felt at that point of time.
and...
lets FAST FORWARD
Despite the difficult times, I always had
FAITH
HOPE
STRENGTH
and even though times were tough with her, my dearest friend, who supported me through it all.
Not forgetting my family who even though were frustrated due to worry were always there as well.
These few things, pulled me through.
Many days I woke up and would repeat to myself
"Yesterday is the past, Today is a new day"
And i would go about my day.
Now. I can finally say I have KILLED MY DEMONS.
I HAVE RECOVERED even when i had thought i couldn't.
I AM HAPPY , I never have to fake a smile again
I AM BALANCED, I eat what i want and exercise when i want with a positive mind
I AM LEARNING, hey, nobodies perfect we all gotta continue to learn in order to grow ,am i right?
But all in all you don't even have to have had an eating disorder to have felt as if you are finally "FREE".
Everyone has different ways of dealing with their insecurities.
And i'm starting this blog not to be some kind of expert on "healthy living" or that "gym is life" stuff?
Its to give hope to people who are not where they feel they are supposed to be.
In terms of being "free" from your insecurities.
In terms of accepting that "hey this is me and i'm cool with that"
I'm not quite there yet? But like i said. Its a journey.
Sometimes i look into the mirror and smile but sometimes I cant bare to look into the mirror.
Im only human. We all are. (I mean excluding the animals and all of course like. DUH. )
My blog is about health, fitness, and LIFESTYLE.
I feel its important to add the word "LIFESTYLE"
because like all those fitness gurus say "Its a lifestyle choice, not a temporary solution"
AND TO THAT I SAY AMEN!
know that you will fail but also that its only part of the journey to success.
know that you are just human and you make mistakes and you have flaws.
We are who we are and we have to except ourselves because certain features that we just cant change about ourselves.
It is LIFE.
It being "LIFE" would mean that living healthy means not eating any more of those beautiful sugary gummies or cake or fried foods HAAAAAAAA..... that we all dream of sometimes.
It means today if i feel like having a salad and eating some chocolate after?
IM GONNA EAT THE DANG CHOCOLATE.
like #yolo am i right? (haha.)
SO KEY THINGS TO NOTE.
DONT BE TO HARD ON YOURSELF.
DONT TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY.
FORGIVE YOURSELF
HAVE FUN!
lets journey together.
:)
I will be posting some workouts and food ideas.
some "what i ate today"s
and some "the exercises i did today"s
MORE TO COME.
quote to remember:
"YESTERDAY IS THE PAST, TODAY IS A NEW DAY"
stay tuned.